When a long-term relationship ends between unmarried parents, there isn't always a clear path for the life-changing decisions you'll be making about your children going forward. Where will your children live during the school year? Where will they spend holidays and vacations? How will you make major decisions about their education, their healthcare, and more ? Mediation provides a roadmap for how you and the other parent make agreements - privately and on your own terms, rather than through a contested court process.

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​What is mediation?

Mediation is a facilitated process that takes place outside of court. Unlike litigation, which positions parents as adversaries and focuses on rehashing the past, mediation is more collaborative and future-focused. With the help of a trained, neutral mediator, parents talk through a detailed parenting plan, including the day-to-day schedule, holidays, vacations, transportation, and decision-making.  Mediation allows for more flexible planning around everyone's schedules, including school, work, extracurriculars, and medical appointments, rather than defaulting to a template court-ordered parenting schedule. 

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How mediation helps you and your children

Decades of research on child development point to the same conclusion: it's not the parent separation itself that predicts how kids do. It's the level of conflict they're exposed to during and after it. Children whose parents build a cooperative, low-conflict co-parenting relationship tend to do just as well as children whose parents stayed together. What protects your children is how you handle this transition - is it advesarial or cooperative? Mediation is a more direct, collaborative way to make decisions with the other parent instead of decisions made through attorneys and court hearings. That difference will shape your co-parenting relationship as well as the relationship that each parent has with their children for years to come.

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What we work through in mediation

• A completed Tennessee Permanent Parenting Plan that reflects your children's ages, routines, and needs, instead of a generic court-ordered schedule.

• Decision-making responsibilities for your children's education, medical care, and other major choices.

• Child support, based on Tennessee's Income Shares Model and your actual parenting time.

• How you'll transition from partners to co-parents, including communication norms, boundaries, and logistics for two households.

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​Do I need to have an attorney?

Having an attorney in mediation is optional.​ You are encouraged to consult with an attorney to understand your legal rights, options, and actions you'll need to take through the court (for unmarried parents in Tennessee, this is generally through the Juvenile Court). If paternity hasn't already been legally established, that's often a necessary step before a parenting plan can be finalized.  An attorney can help you with this and more. ​

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What to expect

As a Tennessee Rule 31 Listed mediator, I provide a neutral, confidential space for both parents to be heard and to reach agreements that reflect your family's specific circumstances. Sessions are private, paced to your needs and availability, and focused a sustainable parenting plan and support arrangement that works in your daily lives.

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Ready to begin?

If you're separating and want to create a parenting plan that works without the cost, delay, and ongoing conflict of a contested court process, I'd be glad to talk with you about next steps.

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