If you're approaching divorce and worried about how your children will fare, you're not alone. It's one of the top concerns among divorcing parents, and understandably so. You want to protect them, and it's hard to know exactly how.
Here's the good news: studies show that what determines how children fare isn't whether their parents divorce - it's how. Children do better when conflict is lower and their parents cooperate, not when one parent "wins" and the other "loses." High-conflict divorce put children at greater risk for academic, behavioral, and emotional difficulties. On the other hand, when both parents cooperate and stay involved, children show significantly better long-term adjustment.
So what does this mean? It means that the way you divorce matters and will change the rest of your children's lives.
What is divorce mediation?
Divorce mediation is a facilitated process that takes place outside of court. Unlike litigation, which positions parents as adversaries and focuses on rehashing the past, mediation is more collaborative and future-focused. With the help of a trained, neutral mediator, parents talk through a detailed plan for the division of their marital assets, as well as a parenting plan. Mediation allows for more flexible planning around everyone's current schedules, including school, work, extracurriculars, and medical appointments, rather than defaulting to a template court-ordered schedule.
What we work through together
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Division of marital property and finances, including bank accounts, investments, retirement accounts, debts, real estate, cars, and other valuables.
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Other logistics and special situations that don't necessarily show up in court documents but affect your day-to-day life.
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Alimony/spousal support, if applicable.
How long does mediation take?
Each situation is different, and it depends on the complexity of your financial and co-parenting situations, as well as how willing each of you is to come to an agreement. Some mediated divorces can take 3-4 sessions over 3-6 months, depending on the items above, as well as everyone's availability. (Divorce without mediation can take 6-12 months or even years.) You may need time in between sessions to gather additional information or consult with legal, financial, or real estate professionals. In order for mediation to be productive and effective, both parents must be willing to be honest and forthcoming about documentation related to your marital property, so that a fair and equitable agreement can be reached.
Do I need to have an attorney?
Divorce is a legal process, and you are encouraged to consult with an attorney to understand your legal rights, options, and actions you'll need to take through the court (generally the Circuit Court in Tennessee). For mediation sessions specifically, whether or not you want your attorney to attend is up to you. Download my free resource "Who Can Help Me With My Divorce?" to learn more about the different ways to engage an attorney, depending on your needs and budget.
Is mediation right for me?
Mediation works best when both spouses are willing to sit down and negotiate in good faith. It doesn't require you to agree on everything going in - just a willingness to work toward resolution together. If there's a significant power imbalance, a history of abuse, or if one spouse is unwilling to participate honestly, mediation may not be the right fit, and I'll tell you that directly. If you're not sure whether mediation is right for your situation, my free consultation is a no-pressure way to find out.
What to expect
As a Tennessee Rule 31 Listed mediator, I provide a neutral space where both spouses are heard fully before any agreement is reached. Nothing is decided for you, and nothing moves forward unless you both agree. By choosing mediation, you not only reduce your own stress levels, but you also protect your children and finances from the cost of conflict. You will be creating a better foundation for the rest of your lives.
Ready to begin?
If you and your spouse want to handle your divorce with less conflict, more privacy, and a plan that gives you control over your own future, I'd be glad to talk with you about next steps.
Mediation has so many benefits.
Mediation gives you more control over your future.
When you go to court, people who don't know you are making life-changing decisions for you and your family. In mediation, you create your future on your own terms, and at your own pace. You can (and should) still consult with an attorney for information about your legal rights and options.
Mediation can save you thousands of dollars.
Divorce and family law disputes are expensive. They can easily cost thousands of dollars in attorney fees and court costs. Mediation significantly reduces these expenses by facilitating direct, productive communication and information-sharing between you and your spouse or partner.
Mediation is better for your well-being, now and later.
Divorce may be the hardest thing you ever do. But amidst the emotional challenges, you still can - and need to - make good decisions for yourself. Mediation reduces the emotional stress of an otherwise adversarial process. As a result, you'll have more energy and capacity to focus on healing and planning for your future.
Mediation is better for your children, too.
Children know when parents aren't getting along, and it can have a negative impact on them for years to come. Mediation helps you talk through disagreements privately and manage your emotions, so that you are less inclined to vent in front of your children and put them in the middle.
Mediation is faster than going to court.
Divorce proceedings can span several months and even years. Timelines are based on a variety of court schedules and legal procedures that are out of your control. On the other hand, scheduling mediation is flexible and can happen in a matter of days. Ultimately, mediation helps you reclaim your time and find solutions without being stuck in a drawn-out legal battle.
Mediation reimagines our world.
We live in an adversarial world of inequitable systems and conditions that support winners and losers. But what if, in our most difficult times, we could find a way for all of us to be okay? Mediation imagines the rippling effects that a win-win could have on our family, our friends, and our world.
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Meet Mollie
Founder and Lead Mediator
As a skilled mediator, I help divorcing couples move from anxiety and overwhelm to actionable, future-focused solutions. With expertise in psychology, communications, and strategic planning, I provide calm, structured mediation where you can navigate life-changing decisions with empathy and care. My goal is to help you create sustainable agreements that save you time, money, and your emotional well-being.